


Business Relations

by Yena



Series: Eldritch Emotions [2]
Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Genre: Dark Comedy, Extra chapters for Eldritch Emotions, F/M, I Can't Believe It's Not Smut™
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-13
Packaged: 2020-03-02 09:34:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18808486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yena/pseuds/Yena
Summary: Extra chapters that don't fit into the main series of Eldritch Emotions go here. These serve to give background information about Dianne and my portrayals of the Villainous crew. Fun side chapters that don't contribute to the plot also get dumped here.





	1. The Reapess

Being immortal meant you got bored, absolutely _bored_ to tears. It happened to every immortal being at some point. Black Hat had done every vile, disgusting, violent thing one could ever possibly do, and he was bored. Seeing someone’s head fly off stopped being so funny once you’d seen it ten thousand times. It was like watching pornography: the more you saw, the weirder you had to go just to get off. Deep, deep in the dark corners of the web you’d go until you somehow ended up watching a wench take it up the urethra and the ass at the same time just because she could. He needed something fresh, a new taste for his palate that was… well, palatable.

He'd seen many a bloody spectacle, watching both beasts and men alike slaughter each other for his entertainment. It was sloppy, desperate, _predictable_. It got boring. But here he sat, waiting for yet another slaughter fest to begin. "This one is different," They all said. "It's art." Bah, he'd see about that. He paid a pretty penny to get in though, so it'd better be good.

The host was a demoness under the alias "The Reapess". Black Hat had met her a few times — how could he not? She sold souls, he ate souls and had a prodigious amount of money. It was fated to happen. Not that he couldn’t easily obtain them himself, but his life was the epitome of sumptuous. The lights in the amphitheater dimmed, the orchestra quieted, and the din of the crowd waned. A spotlight flicked on, and there stood a middle-aged man with dark hair before a standing mic. He donned a classic black tuxedo and was shaking like a leaf, skin slick with sweat. In his hands was a notecard, which he read from through his shaking fit.

"W-Welcome, ladies and g-gentlemen… to y-yet another…" He stopped to croak out a sob before fearfully peering behind him. Even with his sharp eye, Black Hat couldn't make out what was back there hiding in the darkness. The man whipped back around and gulped before continuing. "T-To yet another Reaping. Prepare to be a-" His words were cut off by a scythe to his throat, which effectively decapitated him in one clean swing. Blood spurted around his body like a crimson fountain before the empty husk collapsed with a meaty thud. The crowd roared and clapped, but Black Hat was yet to be impressed.

The woman of the hour emerged from the shadows, clutching the oversized scythe that dwarfed her small frame. Blood dripped from its gleaming silver blade as she planted a paw on the human’s torso. She was a youthful-looking demoness with caramel skin and stormy blue eyes that were cold as ever. Oddly, their pupils were colorless. Her dark, tightly-coiled hair cascaded down her back, and curved, golden horns erupted from her skull to form skywards points. She was in a black slit dress that revealed the silky silver fur of a leg, which faded to leathery black skin below the knee. Behind her, a dark tail with a plumed white tip swished.

“He was taking too long,” She said deadpan into the mic. The audience laughed. “You know why you’re here; enjoy the show.” Reapess gave her scythe a twirl, signalling the orchestra to begin its song. With unnatural grace, she tossed the scythe up into the air and leapt backwards to join it. They both flipped and twirled, ascending higher and higher as the violins crescendoed. Her body began to shift, becoming increasingly more bestial in one smooth transition. Reapess’ dress disappeared, and what was left was a silver hyena that retained her shining horns and voluminous hair.

She landed on all fours, effortlessly catching the scythe in her jaws. A spotlight illuminated the form of a woman falling from the sky with a piercing scream. Reapess moved at such a blinding speed that even Black Hat struggled to follow her movements. When she landed on the ground again, it took a moment for the woman’s body to split in two. Her viscera leaked out of her, and her blood poured down like rain onto the stage. More humans trickled in, and Reapess twirled with her scythe through the air despite her lack of wings, pushing off of the handle when she changed trajectory. The atmosphere was filled by shrieks, yells, and gurgles. One by one they fell, bodies squelching in their own bodily fluids as they thumped onto the floor.

Despite being in the form of a creature unanimously known to be ungainly, her movements were fluid and ethereal. The crowd went wild, and this time, Black Hat shared some of their fervor. He leaned forwards in his seat, effectively enthralled. Weightlessly, she descended, landing without a sound. The audience applauded, and with little hesitation, he did, too.

Reapess shifted back into her humanoid form just as a black horse — a kelpie, he noted — cantered up from behind in flashy golden armor. Practically sliding onto its back, she dropped the scythe and held the reins in her teeth. She drew out two equally flashy gold-plated handguns with mother of pearl grips from under her dress. Another round of men and women fell like hail, who she shot in the heads with practiced accuracy.

As the kelpie cantered around to the back of the stage, the humans held there were released. They scattered like frantic insects, screaming all the while. It was a symphony to Black Hat's ears. Not a single bullet was wasted, making quick work of them all… except one unfortunate man who was intentionally shot in the leg. He wailed, and the kelpie was soon upon him. Its razor-sharp teeth dug into the flesh of his abdomen, pulling out his intestines. He squirmed in futility until the kelpie finally ripped out his still-beating heart and crushed it between its jaws.

The volume of the audience's cheers was deafening. The massacre went on, and Black Hat absorbed every second of it. The finale was a disgustingly wonderful line of decapitation as The Reapess held out her scythe on horseback. The humans' heads popped off like a drug addict's opiate bottle. She took one final leap, landing on her feet in front of the microphone. Crimson splatters and rivulets covered her body from head to toe. Everyone stood and clapped, including Black Hat. He'd be damned, the show was exquisite.

He needed to see her. In a swirl of black mist, Black Hat appeared backstage. He strode with purpose, and demons parted like the red sea as he made his way to her. There she was, sitting before a vanity mirror with her eyes closed. "Dianne," He said, startling her.

"Lord Black Hat," She replied, wide-eyed. "Did you enjoy the show?" Dianne stood up, though her head still barely reached past his shoulders. The alluring scent of blood hit his palate hard, and he swallowed.

"Yes, I am very pleased. You were magnificent," Black Hat complimented, eye roving her bloodied form.

"Thank you," She said bashfully, appearing relieved. He brought a hand to tuck a curly lock behind her elfish ear. Stroking her cheek with his thumb, he brought it to his lips to lap at the bead of blood.

"I want you to perform for me and me alone, tonight," Black Hat murmured. He gazed at her from beneath a lidded eye, now. Dianne's breath appeared to get caught in her chest for a moment, but she kept her expression flat. As she parted her lips to respond, he leaned down to plant a kiss on them. She returned it, and he pulled back.

"As you wish," The Reapess answered.

* * *

 That was in the mid-1900s. The second world war had put him in a good mood, inspired him. Weapons were improving at a blinding speed under the pressure. He had to admit, it was impressive just how destructive those bumbling apes got when they pissed each other off — so violent that they designed weapons of mass destruction, capable of wiping cities clean off the map. Still nothing compared to the heinous Black Hat on a slow day, but it was progress. Now, two nations cowardly tap danced (he refused to call it war) over their different tastes in games called “governments”. Two and two came together, and he had his “eureka!” moment.

Black Hat decided he would start a business in selling weapons to villains. It was new, it was a challenge... it was exactly what he needed. Being the terrifyingly skilled creature he was, he built his business from the ground up. It was easy, given his already monstrous reputation.

However, after Black Hat Organization was up and running, Black Hat and the Reapess fell out of contact.


	2. Contraction

Black Hat thumbed through the alphabetized files of villain profiles, searching for a name under “E”. Eventually, he found the name he was looking for: Elinor. Dianne Elinor. They were… acquainted with each other, to say the least. However, it'd been over half a century since they last spoke, and he hadn't exactly asked for her life story. The request she made over the phone yesterday was incredibly vague, but it captured his attention: “I want to make a deal with you, Black Hat.” She insisted on meeting in person to discuss any further details.

Few dared to negotiate with Black Hat, and with good reason, what with him being the overlord of evil. Even fewer could offer something he couldn’t do himself. He would hear her out, but he had his reservations. He teleported to his chair before opening the file to scan through the basic information listed on the first page. The photo of a youthful-looking demoness with caramel skin and stormy blue eyes was at the top, hair lengthy and tightly coiled. Curved, golden horns erupted from her dark hair. She was unmistakable.

Name: Elinor, Dianne  
Alias: The Reapess  
Sex: F  
Species: Spotted hyena demon(?)  
D.O.B.: 05/07/1908  
Ht: 5’1” (without horns)  
Wt: 115 lbs

There wasn’t anything of interest there, except her questionable heritage. Moving along...

Abilities: Shapeshifting, levitation, umbrakinesis, electrokinesis, telekinesis, telepathy, portal creation, regeneration  
Weaknesses: Holy objects

Standard for demons, except for the electrokinesis.

Crimes: Petty theft, burglary, grand theft, first-degree murder, human trafficking  
Occupation(s): Human trafficker, soul distributor; founder & owner of Reaper co.

They did business in the past, so he was familiar with her occupation. Human trafficking was a tricky business. It drew a lot of attention, and while he could handle anything mere humans threw at him, it’d be a thorn in his side — not to mention having to keep them alive. Such a business could potentially be of use to him as a steady source of souls. However, the two of them would still have to come to an agreement, and Black Hat was notorious for driving the hardest bargains in this part of the cosmos.

His eyes skimmed over to her biography, only to find it lacking.

???

Sorely lacking... though this wasn’t uncommon for demons.

Satisfied with his findings nonetheless, he closed the file and slid it aside before attending to other business. He was able to work in peace for a while. Silence was a gift in this house, and Black Hat cherished every moment of it. But of course, it never lasted long. The sound of paper rustling alarmed him, and he turned to find one of the last cretins on the planet he wanted to see — Demencia. She'd swiped the file from his desk and was now ogling the information inside.

“Demencia, put that down and get the hell out of my office, you useless wench!” Black Hat barked, but she only fled up the wall to continue reading.

“Ooh, a human trafficker! Is that who’s coming today, handsome?” Demencia asked, fluttering her lashes at him. Black Hat resisted the urge to gag. He stood from his chair with a growl, summoning a tendril to grab the girl by the waist and pull her off of the wall. It squeezed her like a snake, restricting her air flow. Sickeningly, she appeared to enjoy it.

“Yes, and you’ll be in your holding cell until she’s gone,” He explained, slitted eye boring into her. Before the abomination could protest, Black Hat shrouded them both in shadows to transport them there. He grabbed the file from her before dropping her in the cell. Once Demencia was secured, Black Hat returned the file to its rightful place with the rest. Eyeing the clock on the wall, Dianne should arrive in an hour. He made sure everything in the manor looked perfect, paying extra attention to his desk. Flug and 5.0.5. had already been instructed not to interrupt during that time. Now, all that was left to do was wait and hope that this wouldn’t be a waste of his time.

Finally, the doorbell rang at 1 o’clock sharp, and Black Hat was quick to open the door. As expected, the woman of the hour stood before him. She had a collected atmosphere about her. Her expression was absolutely relaxed, and she held herself with confidence despite her short stature. She hadn't changed a bit.

“Dianne,” Black Hat said with an angular grin, extending a hand. "It's been a minute."

“It has,” She agreed, her voice deep yet feminine and airy. It wasn’t unpleasant, but her voice didn’t match her youthful appearance. It was jarring after so many years. Dianne took his hand and shook firmly.

“Come in,” He insisted, stepping aside to allow her entry into his manor. He closed the door behind them and lead her to his office. Dianne remained silent, eyeing his various self-portraits and decor with an unreadable expression. They reached the grand double doors to his office soon enough, which Black Hat promptly opened. He gestured for her to sit in the chair in front of his desk and closed the doors with a mere snap of his fingers.

As he made his way to his chair, he spoke up. “So, Dianne… what do you want with me after so many years of radio silence?” He rested his elbows on the desk and weaved his gloved fingers together.

“I want access to your wares. I’m willing to sell any of my souls… except this one.” Dianne gestured to her chest. Black Hat sat silently in thought. It was an interesting proposal, and he was actually considering it.

After a moment of pondering, he said, “I would accept a monthly payment of twenty souls.”

“Fifteen,” Dianne haggled before adding, “That’s one hundred eighty souls every year, and I will still be paying full price for your products.” Oh, she was good… but he was better.

“Twenty-five,” He countered. Her face remained still as stone, but the tiny signs of irritation that laid beneath her stony surface didn’t escape Black Hat: a flick of her plumed tail tip, the slightest tightening of her jaw, an inhale deeper than the last. He liked to appreciate the little things. The demoness paused for a moment, and he could see the gears turning behind those crystalline eyes. His lips cracked into a grin just to piss her off further, but her exterior did not crack.

“Fine, twenty-five.” Good choice, he thought. Black Hat already had nothing to lose from the arrangement, as his arrangements tended to be, and fifteen souls was a reasonable price. However, he wouldn’t let anyone think they could manipulate him, and that was reason enough to punish the attempt.

“Deal,” He finally said, standing from his chair to offer his hand. His smug grin turned wicked, and the brim of his hat cast an eerie shadow on his dark face. Most would rather make a deal with the devil, but Dianne followed suit, and they shook hands. The deal was sealed. All that was left was to write the contract, which Dianne signed after much scrutiny.

“I will have the souls to you by the end of the week,” She promised robotically.

“Excellent,” Black Hat said, clearly pleased with this arrangement.

Little did either of them know, this was the beginning of an unwanted emotional roller coaster, and there was no getting off of this ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was short but necessary, an older chapter that needed doctoring. The file information looked 900x better in courier new. Ah, well. I hope you enjoyed it, anyway!


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